The things we do for the men in our lives

NBA Playoffs started last weekend. The first round of seven-game series is halfway through. The Lakers are 2-1 against the Oklahoma City Thunder, the former Sonics (They aren't bad, they aren't good, they are just OK! Hahaha. I found it rather humorous.) Kobe Bryant is playing with a broken finger on his shooting hand and his foot is bothering him, yet he still wins games. Pao Gasol is monstorous. Derek Fisher chokes until the last minute. Adam Morrison, former GU Bulldogs star, sits on the bench, apparently because of his mustache. I think this basketball stuff is rubbing off on me.

I never really watched basketball before. My parents watch GU religiously, but other then March Madness, basketball wasn't big in my house. The NBA became important a year ago. My boyfriend loves the Lakers. He lives and breathes basketball, and knows way too many stats. But he loves it, therefore I must learn to love it. The things we do for the men in our lives!

Tuesday night is Glee night. One of my favorite shows. But through the entire Madonna-tribute episode, all I thought of was whether the Lakers were winning. I even forced my friends to watch the last five minutes. I talked about the players, acted like I knew what I was talking about. I accidentally kicked the remote across the room when they won at the last few seconds. A friend asked me how long I had been a fan. Well, I can tell you the exact day I became a fan. The day I started dating a Lakers fan. It's so strange how we adopt new likes, new dislikes just to be able to connect with our significant other. Do I feel guilty for cheering for the Lakers? Not a bit. They are playing this Monday and I plan on watching, cheering for both my team and my man.

Tastebuds

Taste buds are so weird! I am sitting here eating a grapefruit. But if you asked me a few months ago whether I liked grapefruit, I would say no. I like apples, applesauce, and hot apple cider, but I can't stand the taste of apple juice. Plain milk is gross, but if you put at least two spoonfuls of Nesquik I am fine. I like oranges, but can't drink orange juice in the morning. Is it crazy to any one else that our taste buds change over time? I used to hate tomatoes. Now I eat them willingly. Or the fact that our psychological state affects our taste buds! I shudder whenever I see eggs because when I was younger my dad forced me to eat eggs when I didn't want to. I haven't eaten eggs since. Crazy! I might have to do some research about taste buds and figure out why they are so weird!

Equal Rights

the rumble of the dryer
faint background noise
to the many thoughts
shouting for equal rights
to be heard.
my head weighs heavy
as I try to ignore them all
and listen to the faint voice
crying out from my heart.


Jenna Ainslie

Memory Book

I finally opened my Memory Book from Lake Tahoe Summer Project. I admit, I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect-crying, laughter, nostalgia, yearning for the last summer. It all eventually came.

I don't really talk about LTSP much. I think I am still in Post-Tahoe recovery. Leaving an intimate, vulnerable, passionate group of Christians my age to return to normalcy and its apathy has been hard. Almost a year later, I still don't think I have fully adjusted. I yearn to experience that intense camp-high, feeling so passionately on fire for Christ that I couldn't help but talk about my faith and what I was learning. Now I am sitting in my apartment, wishing I could go back to that passion, that fire. Disappointment with my inability to attain such a high again cripples my faith. Why be ok with average faith when I have experienced such intensity? I don't know. I guess I am still trying to reconcile the fact that the "real world" is not like Lake Tahoe. I am not constantly surrounded by fellow Christians, who want to learn and experience their faith just like me. I had a 24/7 Christian bubble that I never wanted to leave. Coming back to my life where swearing is a constant and people constantly put down Christianity, it's been rough. I wish my leaders had prepared me for this. All I can do is soldier through it and hope that if I persist I will come out stronger.

And I know I ask questions alot-I was told it is frustrating for readers, since they don't know the answers to my questions. Well, I don't know the answers either. Sorry. Still working on it.

"If you want to be a writer...."

"If you want to be a writer, you must do two things above all others: read alot and write a lot." Stephen King On Writing.

That sentence smacked me across the face. I know what he said is true. Of course it is. Well, Jenna, if you know it's true, why aren't you doing it?....I have no idea.
I realized rather quickly that I am ignorant, at least in a literary sense. When I could have been reading 1984 or The Grapes of Wrath, I was busy scouring the library for the teen novels, ones I didn't have to think through and were fun. I regret it big-time. Being a senior in college, about to graduate with a Creative Writing degree, I have realized how little I have read. I mean, I have read ALOT. Just not read the right kinds. I am a lazy reader and don't want to do the work. But college has put me in an interesting spot.
I can't look at non-literature books without feeling guilty. I know I am supposed to read them. I shouldn't be reading Harry Potter, I should be trying to expand my understanding by reading The Scarlet Letter. I always desire to read classics, I just never do. And I get frustrated with myself! I claim I don't have time to read (which is partially true. There is little room for pleasure reading when you take Literature Survey classes.) But I still need to prioritize reading if I ever want to learn.
I hope it isn't bad to start reading important literature now. I might be a little burnt out by the time I hit summer, but I have to believe that I will still love books after being forced to read after 15 years of school. Cross your fingers!

Watching "A Vision of Students Today"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dGCJ46vyR9o

I am in a Marketing class this quarter, trying to learn 'real-world' application skills, whatever that means. My professor decided to show us a Youtube video called "A Vision of Students Today." It shows some of the realities of students today. I'm pretty sure it's a little dated, maybe by only a few years, but it speaks the same truth. Students are busier than ever and even more distracted by technology.

The video shows many students holding up signs with proclamations such as "I buy hundred dollar textbooks that I never open," or "I get 7 hours of sleep at night!" I'm pretty sure that getting 7 hours of sleep would sound great to many college students, often working on 5 or 6 hours of sleep. The video brings up Facebook during class. Students who bring laptops to class and just play games or look on Facebook are becoming more frequent. (Sitting in class while watching this video, the guy I sat next to was chatting on Facebook the entire hour of class. Way to pay attention to the lecture, dude. RUDE.)

After the video ended, my professor turned to us and asked "Did this video surprise anyone?" We all said no. "Well, it surprised me," he said. What a weird thought that it, that he had no idea what we students were going through. How multi-tasking is pure habit now, that we have more to do in a day than there are hours for; I already knew that, but my sixty-some year old professor had no clue. Weird.

I recommend watching this video. I hope it reveals truth about your own life as a student, or helps you understand students in general. Definitely worth the 4 minutes and 45 seconds.

Tonight, I cried in a movie theater

Since this is the first week of attempted blogging, I am exploring still.

Tonight I fulfilled my need for chick-flicks. I watched The Last Song, with Miley Cyrus and Greg Kinnear. It was a great movie. I didn't have my standards too high, as it is Miley/Hannah on screen, but she did a great job. I laughed alot, but most importantly, I cried. I will admit it. I bawled my eyes out the last half of the movie. I came into the movie knowing I would cry. It's a Nicholas Sparks book, after all? I have been told that every book is a tearjerker. (I have not read any books yet. I am struggling to decide whether reading his books is below me as an English major. I have been so overwhelmed with 'literature' that anything non-'literature' is difficult on my conscience to read now. One of the many hazards of being an English major.)
Anyways-back onto somewhat topic-I watched a sad, sad movie that made me cry and it made me wonder: why on earth do I put myself through that? I knew I was going to cry. I hate crying in public, though I'm an emotional person and cry easy. What was going on in my brain that decided, yes, I want to see this movie regardless of my impending emotional state? Who knows. For some reason, I am drawn to chick-flicks, cheesy romantic comedies, predictable plotlines, and unrealistic characters. Maybe I want to envision my life like theirs? I think I sit in the movie theater, images reeling by, and I wish life could be as easy as the movies. Everything will go great until a crisis hits, but everyone in the audience knows it will work out. It always works out. I do not watch movies where it doesn't work out. I want some sort of assurance that my life, in the crazy ups and downs, will be ok in the end. Is that too much to ask? I hope I am not too weird about this.
Another reason I love these movies is because I have a very active imagination. Put into practice, it looks like putting myself in the movie, running the scenes over in my head. How would I react if this happened to me? Would I say yes? Would I run away? How would I handle tragedy? Well? Badly? (...if you cannot tell yet, I think in questions and most likely think too much.) I think of it as mentally prepping myself for what 'might' happen. I can see it work out on the movie screen, so I have hope it will work out for me. Sounds a little weird, I know, but its true.
Anyways-I got my crying jag out of the way tonight and feel a little shell-shocked from it all. It felt good to cry, and I really enjoyed the movie. My heart is happy and that is really all I want out of my girly movies.

What I am passionate about

So I have this rant. Generally, I avoid going into it, as most people don't really want to know all about how I feel. But since this is my blog and it's titled Say Anything, why not say it?
I found my passion about foster care/adoption while reading Sherman Alexie's "Flight." The book focuses on a teenage boy named Zits, who is in and out of foster care. No one really wants him there and he constantly runs away or causes trouble. The story moves through historical characters, teaching Zits about how to deal with life, who he is as a person, and as a Native American. I felt a tug on my heart, hearing about the horrible parents he was subject to, knowing that those type of people really were out there. It made me angry! How could we do that to our own children? Shouldn't we be concerned about these children? Shouldn't we invest in families who really want those children in their homes? Yes, we should.
No, I am not toting adopting the adorable African babies or little Chinese girls. Yes, they deserve to have someone radically change their life circumstances, but I find that most Americans forget about their own children, especially Christians. Don't get me wrong, I grew up around families that invested in America's children, one family even having 24 children, all but seven adopted. But these types of families are few and far between. More Christians should turn their eyes toward not allowing innocent children to become products of the system.
I don't really have a solution yet or know how I can personally help. I know that this passion was placed in my heart for a reason. Someday I hope to adopt or volunteer in foster homes, maybe even be a foster parent. We shall see. For now, I just rant about how we need more foster parents committed to bringing foster kids up in healthy homes.