Memory Book

I finally opened my Memory Book from Lake Tahoe Summer Project. I admit, I was nervous. I didn't know what to expect-crying, laughter, nostalgia, yearning for the last summer. It all eventually came.

I don't really talk about LTSP much. I think I am still in Post-Tahoe recovery. Leaving an intimate, vulnerable, passionate group of Christians my age to return to normalcy and its apathy has been hard. Almost a year later, I still don't think I have fully adjusted. I yearn to experience that intense camp-high, feeling so passionately on fire for Christ that I couldn't help but talk about my faith and what I was learning. Now I am sitting in my apartment, wishing I could go back to that passion, that fire. Disappointment with my inability to attain such a high again cripples my faith. Why be ok with average faith when I have experienced such intensity? I don't know. I guess I am still trying to reconcile the fact that the "real world" is not like Lake Tahoe. I am not constantly surrounded by fellow Christians, who want to learn and experience their faith just like me. I had a 24/7 Christian bubble that I never wanted to leave. Coming back to my life where swearing is a constant and people constantly put down Christianity, it's been rough. I wish my leaders had prepared me for this. All I can do is soldier through it and hope that if I persist I will come out stronger.

And I know I ask questions alot-I was told it is frustrating for readers, since they don't know the answers to my questions. Well, I don't know the answers either. Sorry. Still working on it.